Another Reason Why I Don’t Keep A Gun In The House

The poem begins with the speaker starting the scene in medias res, which is Latin for “in the middle.” Whatever the speaker was doing in their home has been disrupted by the incessant barking of the neighbor’s dog. That this is annoying to the speaker is in part cued by the dark humor of the title, which implies that the speaker is so annoyed by the dog, they could silence it by shooting it. Another clue to the speaker’s personality is delineated by the title’s notation: It’s “[a]nother [r]eason” the speaker doesn’t “[k]eep [a] [g]un [i]n [t]he [h]ouse” (Title). This indicates the speaker understands that, for various reasons, they are not one who should have a gun in their home. The reason detailed in this poem is that they believe themselves prone to murder when highly annoyed or frustrated. This should be read as tongue-in-cheek; Collins’s poetry is often marked by subtle or ironic humor.

The first two stanzas of the poem set up the emotional reaction the speaker has to the dog as well as the relative proximity between the two in location. The dog’s bark is “high, rhythmic” (Line 2), and the speaker is agitated by the fact that it simply “will not stop barking” (Lines 1 and 5). Despite their annoyance, though,  the speaker seems to have some sympathy for the dog, even in the early portion of the poem. They note that the dog’s bark is “the same” (Line 2) whenever it is left, acerbically suggesting that its owners “switch him on on their way out” (Line 4). This makes it clear this is not the first time the neighbors have left the dog, nor the first time the dog has barked in such an incessant manner. This implies that the neighbors are not completely attentive to the dog’s needs. The dog’s barking, while repetitive, is not unwarranted. It, too, is annoyed.

Still, the barking grows aurally irritating to the speaker: “He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark / that he barks every time they leave” (Lines 2-3) shows that the dog’s yelp comes at regular intervals. Further, to drive home the fact that the dog’s bark punctuates everything, the speaker notes the “dog will not stop barking” (Lines 1, 5, and a variant in Line 13) three times in only 20 lines. The sort of repetition is noteworthy to really emphasize a point.

Although the speaker understands why the dog barks when its owners are not present, this does not mitigate the annoyance. The speaker is in a situation they cannot control. Because the neighbors are not at home, the speaker cannot ask them to hush their pet, nor can the speaker eliminate the dog since, as the title tells the reader, they possess no gun. The only recourse the speaker has is to alter their own environment. Thus, they shut “all the windows” (Line 6) and put on “a Beethoven symphony full blast” (Line 7) in an effort to control what they hear. The speaker tries this method for some time, listening to the symphony to drown out the dog’s “barking, barking, barking” (Line 9). Still, the noise remains: “muffled under the music” (Line 8).

There is however, a shift, in the next three stanzas of the poem. Failing to change the external environment, the speaker can only change their own thought process. The dog cannot change: It barks away. However, the speaker actively transforms the dog, giving him an exalted role in a fantasy that offers purpose and depth to the dog’s behavior. The third stanza of the poem shows the speaker imaginatively placing the dog “in the orchestra” (Line 10) playing a Beethoven symphony. The dog’s “head [is] raised confidently” (Line 11). The speaker admires the dog’s chutzpah, approaching the situation as if it is supposed to be there or “as if Beethoven / had included a part for barking dog” (Lines 11-12).

The speaker notes that “when the record finally ends he is still barking” (Line 13), and imagines the dog in the “oboe section” (Line 14). However, there is also a sense of triumph, as the dog’s prolonged “barking” (Line 14) is considered. The speaker imagines the “conductor […] entreating him with his baton” (Line 16). The conductor’s function, of course, is to lead the orchestra, conveying the composer’s intentions to the musicians. Here, the conductor is “entreating” (Line 16)—or pleading—with the dog. This can be read in one of two ways: Either the conductor is asking the dog to cease or to continue the barking. Since the rest of the orchestra listens “in respectful / silence to the famous barking dog solo” (Line 17-18), it is likely the latter. This notation shows a radical change in the speaker’s attitude. Although the situation is conveyed with humor, the speaker’s alignment of the dog with Beethoven—considered perhaps the best composer in history—makes the poem also a commentary about art.

Known for musical innovation, Beethoven often extended the finales of his symphonies (especially No. 8 and No. 9) into an “endless coda” (Line 19), which were full of false finishes. He was the first composer to do so which, in turn, is sometimes why he is considered a “genius” (Line 20).

If the speaker had kept “a gun in the house” (Title), they would have shot the dog to cease its barking, which would also eliminate the possibility of innovation. While the innovation appears to be the dog’s “endless coda” (Line 19), in actuality, the innovation is internal in the speaker. They can take the mundane and annoying moment of the dog barking and view it as something surprising and significant. In this way, Beethoven, the dog, and the speaker are all artists.